


I Want to be Flavorless.

by jambastion



Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character with OSDD, Gen, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT READ IF THIS IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU, Past Sexual Abuse, pk is alive and mentioned briefly but dont expect a cameo, this is a vent fic!!!! i dont want you to get hurt!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26985367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jambastion/pseuds/jambastion
Summary: I need you to talk to me."To talk to you?"Please.
Relationships: The Hollow Knight | Pure Vessel & Hornet, The Hollow Knight | Pure Vessel & The Knight
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	I Want to be Flavorless.

After harsh years of demanding and timely work, Hallownest had been re-established, rebuilt. It was nowhere near its high glory of centuries past, but it was a start. A fresh one, reworked from the ground up by its citizens and the assistance of the King. It wouldn't be long before the royal ball to celebrate its revival.

Hollow was adorned in clothing fit for their place of heir. Silver hues and luxurious fabrics, intricate embroideries among the tulle that laid along their collarbones and arm. Silk from generous weavers composed the rest, shimmering under the lamplight. 

"You look  _ beautiful _ , Hollow," Hornet spoke, her voice almost breathless. It was either from exhaustion or awe, she wouldn't know. "Are you ready to go?" There was some time left before the ball, near an hour and a half, though Hornet favored arriving early. Twenty minutes early seemed adequate. It'd allow her and her siblings time to speak to their father and catch up before he busied himself with the guests.

Hollow smiled at the commendation. "Thank you," they signed slowly. The word felt wrong, they knew, despite it taking a bit to sink in. Their breath felt short and they ignored it. "I do think you should tend to Ghost, now. Waiting too long will bore them."

She answered with a nod and a chuckle. "Yes, I know it well. The poor child would go mad if I were to make them wait too long." They were an impatient little one, as was their wont.

Hollow's gaze went out of focus somewhat before they forced it back. They replied with a thumbs-up and a small smile.

"I'm going to dress Ghost. Retrieve anything else you need and make sure you drink something before we leave."

_ You're gorgeous. _

_ You're everything I've ever wanted. _

Hornet walked off to Ghost's room. Hollow's chest felt tight, breath escaping them in every inhale. Their surroundings were blurry and defocused, dark eyes returning to their lax position despite their attempts to keep their vision sharp. They merely sat there, allowing it to come to them. It was scarcely this bad. Their thumb swiped along their leg in an attempt to get their own attention.

_ I like having you to myself. _

_ Can we just cuddle a while? _

_ Would it not help us bond? _

A whimper escaped them, weak and almost choked-sounding. The lump in their throat and pressure in their eyes turned quickly to tears spilling over. The world was distant from them, now. What was far behind them felt dreadfully real and too close.

_ It wouldn't hurt, just for today. _

_ Just for today? _

_ Come on, just once. _

_ It wouldn't hurt, you know. _

-

Her wings,  _ Gods,  _ her wings. The echo of her bright white scales shedding against their carapace made their throat feel like it was closing. She could choke them with a single word, a single gaze. Every time, they were so weak. Every time, they would collapse to her whims. They were so dismally compliant. She always knew that. So easy to sway. She knew. Why didn't they know better?

_ "You know well that it was no fault of yours." _

_ But I could have said no. _

_ "You weren't made to say no." _

_ I could have tried to. I had centuries to try. _

_ "She had manipulated you, Hollow. She had broken you down through and through. It was not your fault." _

They laid down on the couch. It hurt. Their chest hurt. Their head, mind. Things were blurry now, but they could feel to some extent. They were certainly crying, if noiselessly. Hollow could tell.

_ I need you to talk to me. _

_ "To talk to you?" _

_ Please. _

Hollow cried out weakly again. They felt painfully seen. Everything was looking at them. The walls were like voyeurs, peering in when they felt the most exposed. They were so bare, their lack of an opaque sleeve exposing their shoulders and arm, the open back of their dress almost making their stomach turn. They didn't want to be seen. They didn't want to be  _ thought of _ . Hollow snatched a blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around their shoulders tightly.  _ Stop looking at me. Please. _

" _ I am here. You know that I am here, right?" _

_ Yes. Please, all I ask is that you speak to me. I don't want to feel this way. _

They crossed their legs together tightly.  _ Go away. Go away. Please go away. It's not at all like that. _

_ "You are scared?" _

_ Yes. _

_ "She is dead and gone. Does that thought make you feel much better?" _

_ Not by much. _

The feeling of their clothing against their shell felt suffocating. It felt like her. Gods, it felt like her. It hurt.

_ "Should I call for Hornet?" _

_ No,  _ they responded far too abruptly. _ Don't. I don't want anyone to see me. Please. _

_ I need to get up. I need to go to the bathroom.  _

Hollow sat up almost frantically. Their demeanor was the same in dashing to the restroom. Shut and lock the door. It nearly slammed with the force they applied. They hastily shed their adornments: dress, shoes, the decorations on their horns. It was too much.  _ Don't look at me. Don't touch me. Gods, please. _

Dropping to the floor felt relieving. They fell flat on their back after sitting, gazing up at the ceiling with empty eyes. 

_ "You'll be able to make the ball, no?" _

_ Don't ask me that right now. I don't know. _

_ "Sorry, sorry." _

_ Don't worry about it. _

-

"You are a beautiful specimen. Come here."

And so they did.

Again. Again. Again. Countless times. It was far too much.

They covered their chest with their knees, covered between their legs.  _ Away. Away. Go away. _

They felt resolute, more in control, if only for a moment. It broke the moment that they could feel their hand on their shell.

"You seem stressed. Come here." she breathed. 

"I am far too tired."

She made a sound between a laugh and a sigh, too calm to sound any kind of condescending. "As am I. You shan't worry."

They laid down again. "Okay."

_ Okay _ . It was all that they could muster in reply most nights. It was what they said when they were too tired to put up more of a fight, too tired to tell her that they were exhausted, too tired to tell her that they weren't feeling up to it, too tired to make up another way to say no.

The empty feeling that Hollow endured after her ministrations was creeping in. The slow kind of feeling where the world was dead; where only the two of them may as well be the only ones alive. How they knew this would last for eternity, or until they'd rot away into naught but flesh. It felt like they were there again in the Dream Realm, dreadfully alive and unsure when it would be no more. 

_ "Marigold,"  _ they almost said aloud.

_ Hm? _

_ "Tell me that I am real. That this isn't a working of the Dream Realm." _

_ I think you might be a bit too real. You're very much here, in Hallownest. Truer than true. _

_ "Is that right?" _

_ Very much so. _

They reached back and grasped the silken shower curtain. Perhaps they were real, even if the world felt far away and the ground hundreds of feet below. It didn't feel nearly as artificial and hazy as the Dream Realm. 

_ "Could you go get Hornet? I don't believe I can manage without her right now." _

Marigold answered wordlessly in helping them up and withdrawing from the bathroom. She knocked on the door of Ghost’s room to get Hornet's attention. "Sister," she beckoned. "Could you spare a moment? We need you."

-

Hornet fastened the golden beads onto Ghost’s horns and uttered a “hold on” before opening the door to see Hollow- no, likely Marigold, by manner of speaking. 

“Ah? Is Hollow alright?” Her fangs knit together in a frown. One of them must have taken off the dress at some point. It was more than alright if they couldn't attend the ball. “Did something happen?” She twisted in place, expressing her concern through her side-to-side motions. Marigold primarily tended to take full sail when Hollow was terribly upset. It worried her, and she didn’t quite know what to do besides wait for an answer. She hoped that they’d be alright.. Perhaps she’d need to call Grimm to keep them company while she and Ghost went to the ball. “Is Hollow there? I’d like to talk to them if it’s alright.”

Hollow  _ was _ there, though hesitant to say anything. Marigold could easily tell. “Not fully. I expect that they’ll sign to you if they wish.” She stood and thought for a moment. “I’m still trying to gather all of what had happened.” A sigh escaped her. “I believe they had been upset over the Radiance’s mistreatment. I’m sure you know of it. Having been reminded had quite knocked them down.” 

Hornet replied with a brief nod. The position of her fangs still displayed significant worry. “I am aware, yes.. Do you know of how they’re feeling now?”

“Somewhat. They’re shaken, but I believe comfort of the physical kind could soothe them.”

“Are you sure..?” she trailed off upon noticing Hollow's signing.

Hollow hesitantly signed a few words. “I would request you don’t speak of how I look,” they requested. “For a couple days, at least. It reminds me of bad things.”

“Oh, little lumafly..” their sister placed a hand gently- almost hesitantly- onto the side of Hollow’s face. “I hadn’t known. I won’t repeat it.” Gods, it hurt to see them in so much pain sometimes. They had gone through far too much in their long life. “Is it alright for me to hug you? I don’t want to upset you.” May that vile one be cursed even beyond her death. She knew exactly what she had done to her sibling. They affirm, and she pulls them into a gentle embrace. “And would you prefer to stay home instead of attending the ball?”

Hollow shrugs before pausing and giving a mumble and a shake of the head. They part from Hornet’s hug after a few moments of savoring it. “I’d fare better with something to do,” they sign, doing so slowly while they found the words. “Staying home by my lonesome would only make me feel worse, you know.” They sigh in what might be exhaustion. “I should certainly get back into my clothes.”

Hornet makes a noise of acknowledgement and allows Hollow to retrieve their attire. “I’m heading to the living room." She turns toward the hallway first. "Ghost, can you come along as well?” It isn’t long after that she’s zipping up the back of Hollow’s dress again, handing them their heels after they sit and clipping on their horn decorations. They looked  _ incredible _ , but she shouldn’t say that to them right now. It wasn’t the time. “You’re all ready to go,” she speaks with a smile in her voice and a crinkle to her eyes. “Do you need anything before we head out?”

They shake their head. “I don’t think so, no.” Hollow’s horns are adorned with thin silver chains and blue lilies, secured at the back of their head with a small clasp. Their dress was the glimmer-white of spider silk with an overlay of silver tulle, hem stopping just above the ankle. Ghost sat on the floor, scribbling away in a notebook to get a final doodle in before leaving. Both siblings knew they’d only draw more on the tram ride to the palace. It was an endearing sort of thing. Hollow tapped the heels of their white shoes on the wooden floor, cherishing the pleasant sound it made.  _ Tiptaptiptap _ , they moved along to tapping with the front of their foot,  _ clopclopclop, taptap. _ It was nearly time to depart. They weren’t feeling perfect yet, but they were certainly decent. “I’m ready to go.”

Hollow stood and stretched, yawning in tandem. They were tired from before.. But they knew none of their family would mind if they slipped away at a point to relax. They’d quite enjoy seeing their father today. It wasn’t often they’d get to see him, considering he was still recovering. They clapped their hands together in idle excitement, more a fidget than anything else. Father was surely doing better by now, they've heard, if still unable to walk just yet.

"Let's go!" they signed excitedly.


End file.
